“Why am I doing this to myself?”

I must have asked myself this questions over a 1,000 times since I have been in Moldova – and I wish I was over exaggerating. This is tuff, honestly. Even Though I am not in the rural, even though I have an indoor toliet and running water, this experiance is tuff!!! I have almost given up during the past couple of weeks to just go back to the states to live they way I have been for the past 26 years. But then I remember that I CHOSE THIS! I actually FOUGHT for this experance! It took Pat and I almost two years to get here in Moldova! I can hold on for the next two years – its worth it – it has to be!

I worked with clay once in high school. I remember preparing the clay to be used by smashing it onto the table, as to loosen it up so it is perfect to shape. This is how I have been feeling! I am the clay and the potter at the same time. I am continuelly asking myself to change, to mold to take form so I can be useful. And hopefully I will be molded/created into someone who will be able to help the community and people of Ungheni.

I keep being resistant to change, just like clay in the begining, but I know that once I loosen up and allow life to happen, I will take shape and things/life here in Moldova will be a little bit more at ease.

I fought to be here, and I will continue to fight to stay! Its worth it! The relationships I have build with my host family, fellow peace corps volunteers/staff/trainees tells me its worth it!

Advertisements